As an introvert, have you ever struggled to find the balance between maintaining your privacy and sharing about yourself?
Whether it’s with friends or family…
Your boss or colleagues…
Your clients or online community…
When meeting new people…
You might find yourself fluctuating between wanting to be truly seen, heard and understood and to connect deeply with others (which naturally requires sharing)…
And wanting to hide away, to be alone and not have to share or explain anything.
There’s also the contradicting emotions that come along with this…
One day you might share something about yourself and feel relief and freedom but another day you might be left feeling anxious and vulnerable.
Alternatively, on the days where you feel more comfortable withholding your personal feelings about something, you might find yourself later resenting others for not understanding you better.
Similarly, when you choose to retreat to your own private space, you might initially feel comfort and solace, but then end up feeling guilty and ashamed for wanting to be alone!
After all, we’ve been conditioned to believe that being quiet and reserved are negative traits (aka rude, boring, antisocial), whilst being open and outgoing are positive traits.
Unless of course, you’re too open and outgoing and come across as loud, annoying, arrogant or offensive.
Ah the life of a conscientious introvert!
So how do we manage this?
As with most things, it’s about finding the balance that’s right for you.
How do you do that?
Here are two foundational practices that continue to support me and all the wonderful introverts I have worked with:
- Know yourself and honour the things that feel true to you.
This includes your individual needs, preferences and desires, your passions and values, your natural strengths and the areas you’d like to heal and grow in.
Knowing these will help you to set aligned intentions and make aligned decisions whenever you’re about to say or do something, as well as setting aligned boundaries e.g. around how you spend your time, who you share openly with and how you let others treat you (these can change over time so it’s good to review them regularly).
- Start choosing love, acceptance and compassion towards yourself, over fear and judgement, especially when evaluating your perceived mistakes, regrets or weaknesses.
The more you do this, the more inner peace you’ll feel, and the easier it will be to learn and grow from your experiences.
Over to you:
Can you relate to this struggle of maintaining your privacy vs openly sharing? If so, in what context?
This might well be your opportunity to flex your ‘personal sharing’ muscle! 🙂